Radclyffe - (Honor 4) - Honor Guards Read online

  Resting her weight against Cam's body, Blair folded her arms over Cam's to hold her closer. "Don't what?"

  "Don't remember. It's over." Cam kissed the sensitive spot just below Blair's ear. "Let it go, baby."

  It should have bothered Blair, that subtle command, but it didn't. The tenderness ablated any edge the words might have carried. Indolently, she stretched back an arm and thrust her fingers into Cam's hair. "No one has ever been able to read my mind before."

  "No one has ever loved you the way I do."

  "I don't want to live without you."

  Cam drew a swift breath, shocked by the statement. It wasn't that she doubted Blair's feelings for her, but she had never expected to occupy a place of such pivotal importance in this particular woman's life. Blair was nothing if not strong and independent— so much so that sometimes she drove Cam to distraction. Theirs had been a stormy beginning, and even now they locked horns on practically a daily basis, usually disagreeing over how much security Blair required. Professionally they had begun to learn to compromise. Personally, they had barely defined their present, let alone their future.

  "I want to spend the rest of my life with you," Cam murmured, her mouth against Blair's neck. "I'll do anything possible to make that happen."

  "I wish we could live together."

  Cam closed her eyes and held Blair closer. She had trained herself from childhood not to want things she couldn't have. Blair had been the first woman to make her break that rule, and still, she tried not to want more than what they had. The wistful tone in Blair's voice washed that resolve away in a heartbeat. "We will."

  "You know that's not possible."

  "Not today," Cam turned Blair to face her, but kept her within the circle of her arms, "and not tomorrow. But it will happen, I promise."

  "Is that what you want?" Blair's blue eyes searched gray.

  Cam's gaze never faltered. "With all my heart."

  "I'm sorry. God." Blair sighed and shook her head. "I don't know what has gotten hold of me. Maybe it's being here with you. I went to school here..." She shrugged and smiled wryly. "It wasn't a great time."

  "How so?"

  I was lonely. I was lost. I wanted what we have now, but I was afraid it would never happen.

  Blair pushed aside the melancholy with a shrug. "My father was the vice president then, and I was a bit of a handful for all concerned, I guess."

  "I can just imagine." Cam kissed her lightly on the lips. "I don't envy your security chief."

  "Which one?" Blair laughed. "The position was practically a revolving door. They'd do anything to get out of it."

  "I thought that's the way I would feel too," Cam confessed. "I did feel that way when I first got the assignment. I don't feel that way now. Even if I weren't in love with you, I would want this job."

  Curious and surprised, Blair cocked her head. "Why?"

  "Because it's essential to the security of the country."

  Blair's eyes widened. "You really believe that?"

  "Absolutely. And so does every member of my team." Cam leaned her shoulders back against the door frame, cradling Blair in her arms, as they both looked toward the Cathedral of Notre Dame. "The currency of power today isn't arms, it's terror—and that is much subtler and much more difficult to defend against. If something were to happen to you..."

  "Nothing will," Blair stated emphatically, hearing the worry in Cam's voice. She caught Cam's hand and slid it inside the shirt, pressing her lover's fingers to her breast.

  Softly, Cam groaned. "You don't honestly expect me to think now, do you?"

  "Mmm," Blair sighed. "I just love to have your hands on me."

  Cam rested her cheek against Blair's hair and breathed in her scent. "If you were used as a political marker against your father, there's no way he would be able to resist the influence. He'd either have to submit to whatever demands were made or step down. Either way, we would all lose."

  "I didn't really appreciate that before—not the way I do now," Blair admitted. "I'll try, darling. I really will."

  "I know." Cam cradled the softness of Blair's breast in her palm, lightly brushing the tender skin and the taut nipple. This woman was critically important to a nation constantly at war, even if those struggles were not .acknowledged in the media. But even more, she was beyond precious to Cam—to her heart, to her very life. "I promised you once, that first day, that I would try to make this situation tolerable for you. I still will, as much as I can. I love you."

  Blair shifted until her mouth met Cam's. Against her lover's lips, she murmured, "God, I love you too."

  "We have an hour or so before I need to call Mac," Cam whispered.

  "They offered us breakfast in bed." Blair pushed Cam back into the room and shrugged out of the shirt. "Hungry?"

  Cam ran a hand slowly down the center of her abdomen, watching Blair follow her movements. She flicked open the button on her pants and drew the zipper down. "Yes."

  CHAPTER THREE

  E yes closed, Cam was alive with sensation—with the rich tangle of Blair's hair sifting between her fingers, with the warmth of Blair's mouth firing her already heated skin, and with the tenderness of Blair's lips drawing her ever closer to the edge of surrender. Rising from her distant reaches, the first whisper of orgasm curled in the pit of her stomach and danced like tendrils of flame along her spine. Her skin tingled, the muscles in her thighs trembled, and her hips lifted in silent supplication, entreating her lover to take more.

  "It's so good," Cam whispered in wonder. Moaning softly, Blair stroked a hand down the center of Cam's stomach, feeling the muscles tighten in preparation for the final thrust toward completion. It was always at this moment, when the pure and simple beauty was about to blossom beneath her hands and flower against her lips, that the breath stilled in her chest and the blood thundered in her ears. Cam's cell phone rang.

  Cam groaned, the pleasure transformed to agony. Blair lifted her mouth.

  "Don't answer it."

  But Cam was already rolling onto her side and reaching for her phone on the bedside table. Desperately, she fought back the urgency clamoring for escape like a wild thing in her depths and struggled to clear her head. Hoarsely, she rasped, "Roberts."

  Breathing heavily, Blair pushed away, flopped onto her back, and stared at the ceiling. She fisted one hand in the sheet and drew it over them both. All we wanted was a few goddamned hours!

  She'd allowed herself to forget everything except being with Cam for those few hours, and now their idyll was over. She pushed her hand through her hair and wrestled with the fury. It's no one's fault. Not Cam's. Not whoever's on the other end of that line. No one's. It just is.

  At another time, in another place, she would already have been out of bed and pulling on her clothes. If she'd cared at all about the woman she'd been about to pleasure, she would have vented her rage on whoever was close by—herself, her temporary lover, or, on occasion, her friends. But now, she was alone with the woman she loved, and there was nowhere for the anger to go except inward. If she allowed that, it would destroy even the memory of the few hours of peace she'd found in Cam's arms.

  Cam closed the phone, set it down, and turned back to Blair. "I'm sorry—"

  "No," Blair quickly rejoined, shifting to face her lover. "No, it's all right." Drawing Cam near with one hand behind her head, she put her mouth to Cam's and gently kissed her while sliding the other hand between Cam's thighs. She smiled against her lover's lips as she heard the deep groan. "You're still throbbing."

  "I'm still ready to...God, don't stop..." Cam's vision blurred as Blair stroked her.

  "Never," Blair whispered, watching Cam's eyes glaze. When Cam threw back her head, neck arched and body quivering, Blair pushed her onto her back and thrust into her in one long, deep stroke, taking her over, taking her. "I'll never stop...never, never..."

  "Ahh...God." Cam sighed when she could catch her breath. She wrapped limp arms around Blair's shoulders and pressed her lips to
her lover's damp temple. "Great timing."

  "Me or the phone?" Blair asked lazily.

  "What phone?"

  Blair dipped her head and kissed the base of Cam's throat. "I love you, but what have you done with the commander?"

  Cam stroked Blair's back and sighed. "That was Mac."

  "I figured. He's the only one with balls big enough to call us when you've taken us off-line." Blair mentally steeled herself. "What is it?"

  "Eric Mitchell didn't give us the two weeks he promised."

  "He filed the story." Blair's voice rang hollow. It had been almost a week since she and Cam had met with the reporter, but she remembered every word of their half-hour interview.

  Cam answered the intercom, listened for a moment, and said, "Send him up. " She settled the phone carefully backinto its cradle and turned to Blair. "Ready? "

  Blair nodded. Silently, she extended her hand and immediately felt anchored when Cam's fingers clasped hers. She leaned forward and kissed Cam fleetingly. "I'm fine. "

  While Cam went to open the door for their visitor, Blair walked to the wide windows on the opposite side of Cam s living room and looked out over DC. They 'd chosen to meet with the reporter in Cam's apartment rather than at the White House. This was not an official meeting; this was intensely personal. A clandestine photo of her and Cam had appeared in newspapers across the country not long before. The image was just blurry enough to obscure Cam's identity, but the fact that they had been captured in an intimate moment was abundantly clear.

  Speculation was rampant within the media as to the specifics of Blair's "love affair, " and various "confidential sources" put her in the arms of mafia kingpins, movie stars, and even members of her father's cabinet Ordinarily, she would have brushed it off and allowed the rumors to die away, eclipsed by the next natural disaster or national emergency. But her relationship with Cam was not going to go away; in fact, she hoped that it would become even more central to her life. And if that was the case, they could not live in secrecy any longer.

  In an attempt to forestall rumors and to control the dissemination of misinformation, she haddecided, with herfather's blessing, to reveal the nature of her sexual identity as well as her romantic relationship with Cam. She had chosen a reporter who was also the husband of a college friend, hoping that old loyalties would translate into some degree of discretion. At the sound of Cam's deep voice at the door, Blair turned, determined and resolute.

  "Ms. Powell," Eric Mitchell, a tall, thin, balding thirty-year-old, said as he approached with an outstretched hand. "I'm honored to be of service. "

  Blair shook his hand, rinding his unwavering pale blue gaze somewhat comforting. She indicated a nearby chair and then took Cam's hand and sat with her on the facing sofa.

  "I'd like to make a statement, " Blair said calmly. "I'm happy for you to include any of my comments in your article, but I would ask that you discuss the timing with both the White House chief of staff, Lucinda Washburn, and the White House press secretary so that they can be prepared with a response. "

  Mitchell removed a slim notebook and a ballpoint pen from his inside jacket pocket. He flipped open the cover and smoothed down a blank page. Looking up, he regarded the first daughter. "I don't need the White House's permission to file a story, Ms. Powell. "

  Cam made a soft noise that verged on a growl.

  Blair squeezed her lover's hand and smiled coolly. "I'm well aware of that, Mr, Mitchell, I was only asking as a courtesy. Considering the circumstances."

  "I understand, and I'll do my best. "

  "Ms. Powell is scheduled to perform state duties, including meeting with the president of France and the ministers of health of several European nations in Paris next week, " Cam said pointedly. "While she's out of the country, it's imperative that we not be faced with the heightened media attention this story is likely to generate."

  "I appreciate the burden of public scrutiny, Ms. Powell." Again, Mitchell nodded, looking expectantly from Cam to Blair. "I'll do my best to work with my editors and the White House on a mutually acceptable release date."

  "Thank you," Blair replied, believing in his sincerity while at the same time knowing only too well how difficult it was to control anything in the bright glare of Washington's spotlights. She looked once at Cam, who returned her gaze with a smile and a squeeze of her fingers. The steady assurance in Cam's eyes and the solid comfort of her shoidder pressed to Blair's were all she needed.

  Turning her attention back to the reporter, who waited silently, she said clearly and quietly, "I wish to make a public statement regarding my private life. Due to the unique circumstances of my family's visibility, I felt it important that I clarify certain issues raised by the recent photo of myself and my lover, who happens to be another woman."

  The reporter s expression did not change. He held Blair's gaze comfortably. "Does your father know? "

  "Yes."

  "Does he approve? "

  Blair's expression was glacial, but entirely composed. "That's a question best presented to my father, although I should think there are matters of much greater importance for you and the rest of the news media to focus on."

  "That may be, but it's a question that everyone will want to have answered."

  Blair hesitated, wondering where to draw the line between the personal and the public, especially where her father was concerned. "My father is aware of my sexual orientation and is supportive."

  "And the woman in the photograph is your current lover? "

  "Yes." . .. Cam leaned forward. "I'm the other person in the photograph."

  For the first time, Mitchell's composure faltered and his eyebrows rose in surprise. "You are the head of Ms. Powell's security team, are you not, Agent Roberts?"

  "That's correct. " Cam eyed him flatly. "But I'm here today as Ms. Powell's lover. "

  "Are your superiors aware of your relationship? " He kept his eyes on them, but he was writing furiously.

  "Not yet. But I expect to advise them within the next twenty-four hours,"

  "Do you expect to be dismissed? "

  Blair stiffened.

  "I don't know, " Cam answered calmly.

  Mitchell turned his attention back to Blair. "Does your father know about Agent Roberts as well?"

  "Yes."

  "How long has he known? "

  "That is of no relevance," Cam interjected swiftly. There was a definite edge to her tone now.

  "Do you expect to continue your relationship after this public announcement, especially in light of your unusual professional relationship?"

  "Yes, " both women said emphatically.

  From that point, the interview had proceeded much as Blair had expected, with the usual questions about when she had first become aware of her sexual orientation, the details of previous liaisons, and suppositions as to the effect of the announcement on her father's reelection campaign. Most of the questions she refused to answer because there were some things no one had the right to know. She also refused to speculate on the position of the White House. It had not been a pleasant discussion, but it wasn't nearly as difficult as she imagined it would have been had Cam not been with her.

  After much debate and chest thumping from the West Wing in the days after the interview, a consensus had been reached as to when to release the story. Mitchell and his editors argued that there was a strong likelihood of a leak from the Hill and that some other newspaper might break the story. They wanted to file immediately. Lucinda Washburn claimed that would put Blair at undue risk while abroad. Eventually, all parties had compromised on a delay of two weeks, which would enable Blair and her security team to be back in the U.S. when the news came out.

  "God." Blair sighed. Going public about something so very personal had been a difficult decision—one that she'd avoided making all of her adult life. If she hadn't fallen in love with Cam, she might never have willingly disclosed the information. "That's not good news."

  "I'm sorry, baby." Cam pushed up
in the bed, her back against the headboard, Blair still in her arms. "We need to get back to base so Mac can bring me up to speed. I have to get a sense of where this is headed."

  "We won't have to cut the trip short, will we?"

  Cam was silent.

  "Damn it, Cam! I will not allow public opinion to dictate my life." Blair did get out of bed then and paced angrily, unmindful of her nakedness, around the small room.

  "Blair" Cam said softly. When her lover failed to acknowledge her, she tried again, slightly louder. "Blair."

  Blair stopped at the foot of the bed long enough to fix Cam with a steely glare before she resumed stalking the ten feet between the door and window.

  "It's not public opinion that I care about," Cam went on in a level voice, She hadn't moved, but remained propped up against the pillows, the sheet drawn to her waist. "We don't really have enough people of our own for any kind of crowd control, but I can draft extra security from the French if necessary."

  "I know that tone of voice, Roberts," Blair said sharply, halting abruptly and turning to face Cam, hands on her hips and eyes flashing. "You've got your command voice on, which means that my lover just left, I hate it when you do that."

  "I know." Sighing, Cam pushed the sheets aside and climbed from the bed in search of her pants for the second time that morning. She pulled them on and then stuffed her hands into her pockets while edging a hip against the small night table to give Blair more room to continue her pacing. "There's been a resurgence of right-wing dissidence throughout Europe in the last five years, and France is one center of activity."

  "You think someone's going to try to shoot me because I'm a lesbian?"

  Every minute of every day, Cam lived with the knowledge that someone, somewhere, might try to harm the woman she loved for reasons that would be unfathomable to any sane individual. But assassins were not sane, and fanatics needed very little rational motive to carry out acts of terrorism, "I have to consider that a possibility, yes. And that means that 1 have to reassess our vulnerability in light of this new development. It's part of what I do."