Honor Reclaimed Read online

  Diane slid closer and put her arm around Blair's shoulder. "I know. I don't blame you. Do you want to run away somewhere?"

  "Can I take Cam?"

  Diane smoothed her hand up and down Blair's arm. "Can I watch?"

  "Watch what?" Cam asked as she walked in from the kitchen.

  "Never mind," Blair replied.

  Cam squatted down in front of Blair and put both hands on the outside of Blair's thighs, rubbing gently. "You doing okay, baby?"

  Blair covered Cam's hands with hers. "I'm fine. I'm just tired."

  "Do you still want to stay here tonight? I think we can cover that safely with the people Stark has."

  "God, yes. I don't want to travel anymore. I just want to take a shower and curl up in bed and go to sleep."

  "Honey," Diane said. "It's only eight o'clock."

  "All right, then, I'll take a shower and curl up in bed with Cam and go to sleep a little bit later."

  "Please don't put those pictures in my head," Diane said quickly. She brushed a kiss over Blair's cheek and rose. "Why don't you and Cam relax out here for a few minutes. I'm going to have some Thai delivered, and don't tell me you're not hungry because you will be when it gets here."

  Cam took Diane's place on the sofa. "I'm hungry now."

  "What about the spookies?"

  "Hara has the night shift. I imagine she'd appreciate something to eat."

  At that moment, Stark emerged from the kitchen, clipping her cell phone to her belt.

  "How about you, Paula? Shall I put you down for some takeout?" Diane asked.

  "Thanks, no. I'll be staying here tonight, but I need to go out for a couple of hours. I'll grab something while I'm gone."

  Cam looked up, surprised. "Two on site overnight?"

  "We're still at Priority One."

  Stark spoke with quiet confidence, and Cam noticed. She settled back on the sofa and took Blair's hand in hers. "Your call, of course, Chief."

  "Agents Krebs and Hara will be here for the evening," Stark said to Blair. "I'll be back before midnight. Please call me if you change your plans about staying in."

  Blair shook her head wearily. "Believe me, Paula. I'm not moving from this apartment."

  "Very good, then," Stark said. "Have a good evening."

  "You too," Blair said. "Oh, and Paula?"

  Stark turned. "Yes, ma'am?"

  "Don't forget about the stick."

  Stark grinned. "That's on my list, ma'am."

  When Cam and Blair were alone, Cam said, "I spoke with Lucinda just now. She's working on a temporary apartment for you."

  Blair raised an inquiring brow. "Lucinda is?"

  "We need a safe house that's never been recorded by the Secret Service. Preferably one that no one knows about except the president, his security adviser, and Lucinda. We can't tell how far our internal security has been compromised."

  "How long do you think it will be before I can move back home?"

  "I don't know, baby." Cam cradled Blair's hand between both of hers. There was never going to be a good time for this. "It may never be secure enough for you to move back into the loft, Blair."

  Blair jerked. "What? You mean I'm going to have to move?"

  "Probably." Cam kissed Blair's palm. "I'm sorry."

  "It's not your fault," Blair said dully. "God, I can't think about that right now." She closed her eyes. "I hate staying in safe houses. They feel so goddamned sterile."

  "Just temporarily."

  Blair stood abruptly, the frustration and fatigue finally winning. "How long is temporarily'? A few days? A few weeks? I can't paint with people in my back pocket all the time. I need to be alone. I need my own space to work."

  Cam stood as well, but she did not touch Blair. "I know. I know what you need to work. I'll make it happen as fast as I can. I promise." She watched Blair stalk away, her arms wrapped around herself, and wanted to comfort her. She stayed where she was.

  "Can I at least go by the apartment for an hour tomorrow? I need to get my canvases, Cam,"

  "We can send someone for them."

  Blair shook her head. "There are dozens, and it will be impossible for me to tell anyone else which ones I want. Besides, I need to look at them to decide." She whirled away, unwilling to allow Cam to see the tears that were as much impotent fury as sadness. "Send a goddamn armed guard with me. I don't care. I'm going to the loft in the morning. I'll pack up my work, and I'll go wherever you tell me to after that."

  "Blair," Cam said gently, "I'm sorry."

  "Stop saying that." With her back to the room, Blair stared out through the glass doors of the balcony into the gathering night. After a moment, in a quieter voice, she asked, "What if we went somewhere that no one knew about, not even Luce?"

  "Have you got some place in mind?"

  Blair swung back, around. "What about Whitley Point? It's isolated, we were safe there earlier this week, and we can bring the entire team and anything else you think we need. I'm sure that Tanner can find us a house to rent. It's off season, and there won't be very many people around." She took a few steps forward. "And I can work there, Cam. I can work and"—she drew a shaky breath—"maybe start to feel normal again."

  Cam considered it. She'd have to bring her entire investigative team, or let Blair go alone. The second choice was not an option. Fortunately, thanks to Davis's computer skills, her investigation could be run from anywhere in the world. "Okay, go ahead and check with Tanner. If she can find us a place we can secure, I think Stark will agree that it's a reasonable solution. I'd be happy for you to be out of the public eye for a while."

  "I'll call her right now." Blair took two steps toward the bedroom where she'd left her overnight bag and cell phone and then stopped, suddenly uncertain. "And you'll come with me, right?"

  "Of course." Cam did go to her then and took her into her arms. Holding her close, she murmured, "We're together now. Remember?"

  Silently, Blair nodded and pressed her face to Cam's neck breathing in her scent, centering herself in the feel of her body and the touch of her hands, beginning to allow herself to believe.

  Chapter Thirteen

  I 've been thinking about this all day," Blair said with a sigh as she slid naked into bed beside Cam just after eleven p.m. She turned on her side and drew her leg up over Cam's thighs, fitting herself into the curve of her lover's body as she rested her head on Cam's shoulder and her hand between Cam's breasts. She gave a small groan. "You feel so good."

  Cam curved an arm around her and kissed her forehead. "So do you."

  "I'm so tired."

  "Me too."

  Blair kissed Cam's throat, then her mouth. "I want to make love."

  "Mmm."

  "I think I'm too tired."

  "Uh-huh." Cam covered Blair's hand and moved it to her breast. "Me too."

  "I'll catch you in the morning," Blair said drowsily, her fingers playing over Cam's nipple.

  "Deal," Cam muttered, already drifting into sleep.

  Blair felt Cam's body relax and smiled to herself. As much as she loved to excite her, to share with her the passion she gave to no other, she reveled in the knowledge that here in her arms, Cam could relinquish the vigilance that occupied her every waking moment. Satisfied in a way she had never imagined, Blair surrendered to her own weariness and slept.

  *

  With trembling hands, Savard stroked Stark's face even as she shifted out from under her. "I'm sorry. I think I'm just too tired."

  Heart pounding, her mind and body still absorbed with the urgent need to feel her lover's passion, Stark rolled away, panting. She captured Renee's hand as it stole between her thighs and drew it upward to her stomach, trapping it there. "No. I'm okay."

  "Oh, sweetie, you're not. Let me touch you."

  Stark shook her head, trying to gather the fragments of her reason. "No. Really." She pulled Renne into her arms and held her tightly. "I just missed you so much. I didn't mean to push."

  "You weren't pushing, sweet
ie. I wanted you too." Savard's heart ached to hear the note of apology in her lover's voice. "God, it's just that 1 can't..." Feel anything. Only so cold inside, so numb, so disconnected from everything.

  The awful void that had been flirting at the edges of her consciousness all week yawned before her, threatening to suck her into darkness, and a wave of dread rolled over her. She needed to feel something other than the horror, or she feared she would be lost. With a cry, Savard climbed on top of Stark and kissed her hard, thrusting her tongue deep inside her mouth. She dug her fingers into Stark's shoulders, desperate for connection, not even noticing when her lover flinched at the unexpected onslaught. Gasping, she drove her hips between Stark's legs. The pressure deep inside, born of panic rather than passion, was unbearable. Eyes closed, sweat beading her face, she forced herself upright on trembling arms and thrust wildly, but still her climax eluded her.

  "Oh God, oh God," Savard moaned. "I can't, I can't."

  "Renee," Stark soothed, cupping her face with both hands. "Baby. Honey. Easy, it's okay."

  Mind and body screaming for release, Savard focused on Stark's voice and let the sound of love pull her back from the edge of that terrifying abyss. Her arms finally gave out and she collapsed into Stark's embrace. "Hold me, oh please, Paula, just hold me."

  "I've got you," Stark whispered, wrapping her arms and legs around her and rocking her. She kissed her forehead, her eyes, her damp cheeks. She had no idea what was happening, but Renee was shaking uncontrollably, and that scared her more than just about anything ever had. "I'm right here. I'm right here. I love you."

  "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Savard pushed her face into Stark's shoulder, her mouth open against the warm body—desperate for the taste of her skin, the comfort of her flesh.

  "Don't say that." Stark stroked her face, her neck, her back. "Whatever you need, it's okay."

  "Did I hurt you?"

  Stark forced Savard's head up with a hand beneath her chin. "Renee," she said firmly. "Look at me." She waited until Renee opened her eyes and then kissed her, her own eyes open and holding her lover's gaze. "I love you. You didn't hurt me. You couldn't. But you 're hurting. Tell me what's happening, honey."

  Savard's eyes burned with tears. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I think..." She looked away, retreating from the pain, then laughed shakily. "Just a, really lousy week."

  "Yeah, I know." Stark searched her face, knowing there was more, and saw the fear shimmering in Savard's eyes. She forced herself to be patient. She guided Savard's head back to her shoulder and kissed her forehead. "Maybe you need a few days off."

  "I can't. Not with this new assignment."

  Stark chose her words carefully. "I think the Commander would probably understand—"

  "No," Savard said sharply, pulling away from Stark's embrace. "This is too important. No one gets time off now. You know that, Paula."

  "You're right," Stark said quietly, realizing that she would feel the same herself. Nothing could get her to take time off when the nation was at war. No matter what name was put to it, that was the situation. "I only thought—"

  "I just need some sleep." Exhausted, Savard settled back down into Stark's arms.

  "I can't stay tonight," Stark said miserably. "I want to."

  "It's all right." Savard kissed her into silence, then turned on her side and pulled Stark's arm around her body. She clasped her lover's hand between her breasts. "Just hold me for a little while,"

  Stark brushed her lips over the back of Savard's neck, wishing there were some way to reach into her heart and ease her pain. She gave the comfort of her body, praying that for now it would be enough. When she carefully slipped away an hour later, her lover was asleep. She left a note on the coffee table next to Savard's badge and gun.

  I love you. See you soon.

  The words seemed so inadequate, but they were all she had to give.

  *

  Blair drifted lazily upward through the mists of sleep, a gradual awareness of pleasure coalescing in her consciousness. She sighed and shifted restlessly, her body already nearing climax but her mind not yet registering what was happening. The muscles in her legs tightened as a shiver coursed through her spine, and she opened her eyes to the first whispers of orgasm. Unable to focus, she reached out blindly, finding first Cam's shoulder, then her face. She cupped Cam's cheek with trembling fingers and surged against her mouth, on the brink of exploding.

  "I'm going to come," she said in wonder. And she closed her eyes again, drenched in pleasure. The ripples of release broke hard, one riding fast upon the next, each more intense than the last, and she cried out in surprise. Dimly, she felt Cam's fingers thread through hers, and she clutched the steady hand to anchor herself amidst the chaos.

  When finally freed from the grip of her orgasm, she laughed weakly and tugged at Cam's hair. "You started without me."

  "Mmm, guilty as charged." Cam worked her way up the bed and stretched out on top of Blair. She kissed her lightly, a tease of tongue over warm, soft lips. "Good morning."

  "The best I've had in quite some time." Blair caught Cam's head in her hands as she pushed her thigh between Cam's legs, grinning when Cam jerked and caught her breath sharply. "I want to watch you come."

  Cam groaned and rocked on Blair's leg, slicking her skin with the proof of her need. "Won't take.. .long."

  "Keep your eyes open. Cam, Cam. Don't close your eyes." Blair was nearly breathless, desperate to absorb each glimmer of passion revealed in her lover's face. "So beautiful."

  "Oh, God..."

  The cell phone on the bedside table rang, and Cam groaned.

  "Don't you dare," Blair warned.

  The phone rang again, and with her last ounce of will, Cam pushed herself over onto her back and swept the phone up with a trembling hand.

  "Roberts."

  "Good morning, Agent Roberts," Lucinda Washburn said.

  Cam stared at the ceiling, struggling to even out her breathing. "Ma'am."

  Blair made a grab for the phone, and Cam curled onto her side, blocking her lover's arm. She felt Blair's teeth on the back of her shoulder and stifled a gasp.

  "I've discussed the issue of temporary relocation with the security advisor, and we both agree it's a workable solution."

  "Good. Thank you." Cam flinched away at a harder bite, grinning even as she started making mental plans for the move. "Is Stark aware? Because I'm sure Blair will want to leave today."

  "She'll be briefed next."

  "I want to take my team with me. There are two buildings on site—a smaller guesthouse that will work for my people."

  "There's been a development in that regard," Lucinda said in a tone that put Cam instantly on guard.

  Displacing Blair, she sat up in bed, totally focused. "Yes, ma'am."

  "There'll be one more agent joining your team, as well," Lucinda said.

  There it is. The price I have to pay for Savard and Davis.

  "Coming from where?"

  "Ah, that's classified, but I'm sure the agent will fill you in as needed."

  Cam almost laughed. She'd be told what the NSA or the DOD or the CIA wanted her to know, and nothing else. Whether it would be the truth or not was always in question. She lifted her watch from the bedside table. 0545.

  "I'm briefing with my team at 0700. Your agent can catch up—"

  "Not my agent," Lucinda interrupted with a hint of uncharacteristic annoyance. "I don't appreciate having this forced on me any more than you do."

  "Sorry, ma'am. I was out of line."

  Lucinda sighed. "You're just not accustomed to up-close-and-personal politics, but I'm afraid that we're all going to get a lot more used to it in the future."

  "I don't play politics where Blair is concerned."

  "Things have changed. We all have to play the game now, Cam."

  Blair felt Cam stiffen and heard the anger in her voice. She shifted closer, tucked her arm around Cam's waist, and then gently kissed the tip of her shoulder. "It's o
kay, sweetheart."

  Cam caught back the next ill-advised comment and stroked Blair's hair. Then she took a deep breath and gathered her control. "Once I know today's schedule, I'll give you a contact time and place for the agent to join us."

  "That won't be necessary. I expect she'll be arriving at your location in about forty-five minutes."

  "Someone's in a hurry to find out what we're doing," Cam said dryly.

  "There's a great deal of maneuvering going on down here between the various agencies. No one knows who's going to come out on top in the scramble to reorganize the security network, and everyone is afraid of being cut out."

  "I can't be worried about egos and personalities. Everyone on my team has to be willing to take orders from me."

  "You have my word on that."

  "Thank you," Cam said, knowing that was the best assurance she could have. Still, she knew that this new agent would be reporting whatever intelligence they uncovered to her own superiors. Cam would have to keep a very close watch on the flow of information, because she had no idea whom she could trust.

  "And, Cam," Lucinda said, "I wasn't given a choice about this. Be vigilant."

  "Yes, ma'am. I always am." Cam disconnected and tossed the phone onto the bed. "Son of a bitch."

  "What did she say?" Blair asked.

  Cam made a conscious effort to rein in her temper. She stroked Blair's shoulder and back, waiting for her irritation to fade. "We're a go for Whitley Point."

  "Oh, good. God, I'm glad. Can we go today?"

  "Yes." Cam kissed Blair and drew her more closely into her embrace. "As soon as you collect your canvases and Stark gets the team together."

  "What else did she say? What upset you?"

  Cam shrugged. "Oh, just the usual bureaucratic bullshit. It's nothing."

  Blair pushed herself up on her elbow, sweeping her hair out of her face with an irritated gesture as she fixed Cam with a hard stare. "Don't give me that crap. I heard your voice. You were furious. What did she say?"

  "I'm getting another agent foisted on me from somewhere. FBI, NSA, who the hell knows. Probably someone being put in place to report on anything we turn up."

  "You mean like.. .a snitch?"

  Cam laughed. "Christ, that's a good word for it. I believe, though, they would be considered a counterintelligence agent. Someone whose job it is to gather intelligence about possible threats to national security. It's a very vaunted position."